Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Two words: blizzard sex
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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