Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
