They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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