Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
