those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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