She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
did i walk over a car last night?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
