How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
