Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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