Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
