It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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