Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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