yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
