Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
