look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
