Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
