Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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