K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
