for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
whose parrot is this?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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