I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
