I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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