I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
