Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
