This is not my ceiling
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm both gender and math confused
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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