So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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