dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I will die if light touches me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
