If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
