dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
