just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
