I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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