New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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