I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
