so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize