just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We left an ass print on the piano.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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