So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
