I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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