Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
