The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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