My friends, they love my intelligence
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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