just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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