she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
