so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
