We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
