thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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