its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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