I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
