he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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