Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
