My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
