how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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