Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
