It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
