Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
