How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
